Time off is good? (+ new year update & self appreciation?!?!)
Part 1: Even if a person is successful, their advice may not be for you
I have finally taken some time off. Volleyball that is.
After the end of the international season, I realized I was quite burnt out. I didn’t want to go to practice, dreaded working out (more than usual) and just felt an overall lack of motivation.
I’ve been hoping for the AVP volleyball schedule to come out so that I could plan the rest of my life, but alas, I still have no idea what my year will look like.
Regardless, I’ve loved the break. I always do.
A lot of great things have happened too: I got to spend more time with my cousins and my fiancé’s family, I was asked to be a guest on a podcast that featured so many of Hawaii’s best, Tanner and I collaborated on a sewing project and I did a whole lot of surfing which I am loving more and more as I look less and less like a newb.
It makes me think that I will be okay when volleyball is eventually over.
The only hard part about doing nothing, is eventually I start to feel like a useless sack.
I haven’t gotten there yet, but I’m starting to.
Taking time off was actually not part of the plan this year. I read somewhere that the reason one of the oldest AVP players was able to keep playing until he was 50 without major injuries was because he never took breaks.
After reading that, I thought I could do that too. Reduce training to just twice a week instead of four/five times, but never stop. I thought that would be enough rest and I wouldn’t have to be rusty when I wanted to start going hard again.
It wasn’t until I was in the car at 6:10am urging myself to open the door that I realized… I need a f*cking break.
And it was a great decision. Not just for the physical aspects, but for the mental fatigue as well. I’ve been able to think more clearly, reflect properly and also stop thinking about volleyball altogether.
I no longer feel the pain of not reaching the goals I wanted to this year, but more of an appreciation for how I’m still getting better each season.
Somehow, I’ve always felt like during a break, a lot of the skills you’ve been working on have time to sink in. Like your body is internalizing how you want to play. When you start training again, after the rust wears off, you’re better than before.
So, I may not be playing in the AVP when I’m 50 years old, but I guess that wasn’t the goal anyway lol.
Part 2: New year, new you? no, but it’s still cool
I never really fancied myself a new year’s resolution person, but there’s just such an undeniable excitement and rejuvenating energy that comes with the new year.
Tanner and I drove up a nearby mountain ridge and watched the all the illegal fireworks popping off. We were a little late because I drove up the wrong mountain first 🤦🏻♀️ but I couldn’t deny the giddiness I was feeling when the clock hit 12:00.
A couple days in, I am out filming videos again. I am taking pictures. I am, however, struggling to write (this post is an example of me just trying to get something out there, sorry), but I think that’ll come and go anyway.
The point is, it’s given me a burst of energy to do things that I’ve long put off. The new year did that. Will it sustain it? I hope so.
With all the 2024 In and Out lists going on, one thing popped up into my head suddenly.
In: delayed gratification.
If you don’t know where this is from… please just close this window right now. We can’t even be internet acquaintances. It’s been nice, but you can see yourself out. For the rest of you…
Delayed gratification.
I want to work for years before it pays off. I don’t want virality, instant gratification… what fun is that? I need to learn to appreciate each step of the journey when it’s happening knowing that it’s a step toward something worthwhile. Something that will make me proud.
This past year, it dawned on me even more just how important it is to listen to yourself and do what feels right. It may not be the best, most efficient, logical way to do things, but you gotta do you… forreal.
Even as I’m writing this, I realize that I’m experiencing delayed gratification right now.
Three years ago, I figured the only way to make beach volleyball more of an actual career was to have sponsors. I decided I needed to grow my social media and show that world someone who was worth sponsoring.
I struggled with Instagram the first year. I obsessed over it and it always put me down. I’d post something and lose followers. Crazy thoughts ensued: everybody hates me, they don’t want to see me post anything, if I don’t have enough followers, I’ll never get sponsors, volleyball will never be a career.
I turned to TikTok and that was fun for a while. I posted for a year pretty consistently before eventually getting burnt out. However, I made so many videos that I learned how to make more content that I actually liked.
As time went on, I realized the best creators who really make it are the ones who are most themselves.
I went back to instagram. I created a blog. I filmed more videos.
Though the amount of followers I have is nothing to write home about, I am feeling so much better with the things I’m sharing. I’m still hard on myself, but I’ve tried to let go of the numbers. I decided being me was worth it. Putting out the content I wanted was worth it.
This year, I can already see all those efforts that started three years ago paying off. Two finalized sponsorships and one that’s almost there, but with companies I couldn’t have imagined would partner with me.
Now that’s delayed gratification if I ever seent it. I’m hoping for more of that in 2024 and beyond. What about you?
