To be or not to be a creator, that is the question.
What do I want to do with my life?
Every year I feel like I come to this point and yes, it usually comes after volleyball season ends.
Iʻm back home, in my Hawaii routine and although I love it here (a lot), I canʻt help but feel like Iʻm not living up to my potential. Like I know I should be doing something, but I donʻt know what it should be.
A lack of direction.
I like making videos, but itʻs so hard for me to actually put in the time to film/edit.
I like to write these blog posts, but I dread opening up a new document to start.
I like to sew, but each project feels like an immense journey Iʻm not ready to embark upon.
I want to do all of these things and yet there is so much friction to just take a single step. I usually choose the easy way out and waste my life on Instagram, Tiktok or Youtube. Constantly being inspired by what other people are doing.
I want to be successful. But I just donʻt know if I can.
It feels like for years (I say that like Iʻve tried longer than two), Iʻve been putting content out into the universe with little to show for it. Iʻm not sure of its impact. And I know thatʻs not necessarily the point of creating something, but it feels important to me.
I do want to help others. Whether itʻs letting them share their story back with me or maybe discovering something new about themselves, I want to do it.
Am I crazy for thinking my content could actually help someone?
Itʻs funny. I came across this video that said anyone in the creator economy has to be delulu (delusional for you oldies) to think that people would care about what they have to say.
And itʻs absolutely true.
There is no reason for you to care about what I have to say. What authority do I have? None.
And yet, here we are… In this crazy creator economy because somehow we’ve tricked other people to start caring about our lives. Well, about other creators, not me lol… (jk?).
But I feel like Iʻm starting to understand what has made some people more successful than others.
Itʻs two things:
Time
Literally being yourself
“Okay, Carly, Iʻve heard that a time or two” *pun intended
Yes I know!! Me too!
Time is obvious, but the truth is most people aren’t willing to put in the time (like me hehe). It could take years. Are you willing to put in your valuable time (fo’ free) for potential long-term success?
And the second one? Whew! It’s one of the hardest things to be.
With there being so many successful creators, it is hard to just be you.
You might aspire to be like a certain person you look up to. So you figure out how they became successful and try to emulate it. You start to copy their techniques, style or even personality. And you could be doing it subconsciously.
And though it might work temporarily, itʻs not sustainable.
People know when itʻs fake and even educational creators need to add a little personality to make it interesting.
When you create something that is completely you, it's mesmerizing because it's different.
There are millions of us out here in the world and guess what… your individuality still matters.
Okay, so now that we know what to do… how do we do it?
Great frickin question.
Recently, I’ve been trying really hard to listen to my thoughts.
If I have an idea or weird feeling, I write it down quickly in my notes app before I forget it. Every time I think I might remember to write something down later, I never do.
I have also made more of a conscious effort to be bored. Yeah, remember when you used to be bored? When I’m waiting at a place or just hanging out in my living room, I will put my phone away and just be with myself. Look around at things.
I even downloaded an App Blocker so that when I’m working out, I can’t look at social media between sets (most of the time 😬).
These small acts help me to stop the distraction (aka my phone). Eventually, the boredom of doing nothing becomes so boring that it urges me to take action or self reflect. Hopefully, I will start to write or pick up a camera, film something, idk anything else!
The last helpful thing that I started doing randomly was scheduling out time to do a task. Instead of just putting it on a to-do list, I add a specific time to it.
For example, I want to write on Thursday. I take out my planner, look at my schedule and then write “3pm write about something”.
This has been game-changing (for really all my tasks) because I usually put off things on my to-do list. Whereas when that 3pm hits, I feel like I have an obligation to start writing. I don’t know the psychology behind it, but it’s there.
I can’t tell you how to be yourself because I don’t even know who I am, but I feel like the more you stop looking around for inspiration and just actually listen to yourself… the closer you’ll get.
I never thought I was creative. I copied others and didnʻt really know how to think on my own. It has taken a lot of time to unlearn that.
Now I know, the scarier it feels to post a piece of content, the more I know that I need to post it. I have to take the risk to show who I really am if I want to connect with people.
So if this is something that you want to do too, then let's be scarily vulnerable together.
